July 18, 2020

A little about me

My name is Sherri and at 25 years old i buried my son, Ronnie. Blunt? yes. Honest? very.

Now at 29+2 (i have issues with my age) I’m pushing for some awareness on bereavement.

Over the years i have shared Ronnie’s story many times in lots of ways, i have explained the bare minimum details to stop questions (and there’s been many questions) and iv shared my thoughts on topics related to our loss. Ronnie’s story has been published in magazines, on charity websites and iv even spoken on local radio stations during baby loss awareness month (October). I have never shared my honest thoughts, my experiences, my memories and my feelings – till now.

Now its July, and for most people that means getting a paddling pool for the garden, stocking up on 200 millions snacks for the hunger a child faces during school holidays (if you know you know!) and making plans to entertain our little creations with 6 weeks of play dates and family days out, whilst trying not to bankrupt ourselves and use too much holiday up at work. But for me it always means something else, yes i have to purchase my annual paddling pool because last years got left out before winter hit. Yes i have to load the cupboards with 25675 bags of Wotsits and fill my freezer with ice poles because the ice cream man costs me over £20 a visit and yes i am planning extortionate days out to theme parks my kids wont appreciate and working out how many play dates the boys are willing to have at auntie Kirsty’s house (Eric may move in) BUT July is bereaved parents month, and this year iv got brave.

I always share a little picture, maybe a quote, on instagram with the hashtag ‘bereavedparentsawarenessmonth’ and this year iv decided its not for me. I have been grieving the loss of my son since march 2014 and i have come to accept that for the most part, i’m known as the girl who lost her baby. That’s not OK with me, I’m Ronnie’s mum and i always will be, but i’m mum to 3 other boys too, i’m a wife and a daughter, I’m a sister, i’m a friend.

I got brave this year and Instagram has become my voice, people are responding in a positive way and the awareness is spreading. Loosing Ronnie will always be life shattering, but as the years go by, my grief has changed. I need to show people that there’s light at the end of the tunnel, you will laugh again and you will feel happiness. You will never feel whole and that’s OK, you shouldn’t, but you can’t shy away from your child’s name either.

For a long time i stayed quiet, scared of making others uncomfortable. Now i’m not staying quiet, you can be uncomfortable for a few minutes .. i live with this each and every day. The world will forever be uncomfortable with the unknown, so now its time to listen, to learn, to educate. Bereaved parents are still parents and they need support much further than the first round of ‘i’m sorry for your loss’ messages.

So now we have the blog..

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